


Which One of You Gave Iwaizumi Tinder

by cannedbipanic



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Closeted Character, F/M, Iwaizumi Hajime is a Good Friend, M/M, One Night Stands, iwaizumi is an immaculate ally
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:54:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29220567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cannedbipanic/pseuds/cannedbipanic
Summary: Iwaizumi never realized that having a ‘gay best friend’ would get in the way of his love life.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Kudos: 55





	Which One of You Gave Iwaizumi Tinder

**Author's Note:**

> This is like the one AU I'll write where Iwaizumi is straight, but this makes me laugh every time I think about it.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi never really thought about parting ways after high school. They applied for the same colleges, and both had brilliant grades, so they accepted. It was quite simple, really. After about one semester they figured out that the dorms were absolute shit and bought an apartment together because well, it was worth the investment. It went smoothly, considering the fact that it was Oikawa and Iwaizumi you were talking about.

In their sophomore year, right around the end of Christmas break, Iwaizumi burst through the door of his house, expecting to see Oikawa studying or putting household objects in the blender. He hadn’t planned on being back from his parents house early, but he had work to do, and he was fully prepared to chuck the gift from his mother at Oikawa and be business as usual. He examined the empty living room, and was almost skeptical until he heard a moan from Oikawa’s bedroom. He recoiled, and was halfway out the door again before he heard a voice. A male voice that definitely did not belong to his best friend.

“Did someone just...walk in?” Immediately, the rustling stopped, and he could hear Oikawa’s voice, rising in panic.

“...shit. IWA?” 

Iwaizumi blinked, and slammed the door behind him, shivering as he walked down the sidewalk. It took a total of about twenty seconds before the door opened and shut a second time. This time, Oikawa and the man were arguing, and the latter looked very ready to punch the former in the face.

“You had a boyfriend and didn’t tell me?!” The first one rasped. 

“Wha-he’s my best friend! And besides, what’s it to you? It’s not like we had anything” Oikawa snarled.

“How the hell am I supposed to believe that?! ‘Oh, I’ve lived with a hot guy for two years who’s definitely not my boyfriend-”

“He doesn’t-he didn’t know, Tobio!” Oikawa exclaimed. The other man went quiet, and looked at him with a hint of guilt. “Just go.” Without another word, Tobio stalked off, huffing curses under his breath. Oikawa grit his teeth and forced himself to look up at Iwaizumi, who was gaping at what just happened. “Do you...do you wanna go inside?”

They sat down in the living room, and Oikawa sighed. “So...I’m gay-”

“No fucking shit,” Iwaizumi deadpanned. Oikawa groaned into his palms.

“I’m not done. I didn’t tell you because-”

“You thought that it would change shit? I’ve literally known since we were like twelve.” Iwaizumi said, standing up. “Unless you’re about to confess your love to me, we don’t need to have a discussion.” Iwaizumi was almost offended at the look of amusement that spread across Oikawa’s face.

“I have standards, Iwa-chan.”

“Okay, that’s enough.”

“That’s like wanting to fuck a meatball-“

“I SAID ENOUGH, YOU SHIT.”

Oikawa and Iwaizumi continued as usual with their friendship, and didn’t talk about it. 

Now, here Iwaizumi was, in his senior year of college, on a blind tinder date, thanking his lucky stars that Oikawa had lent him a dress shirt insisting that a tee-shirt and jeans wasn’t enough. The girl across from him was dressed to the nines, and pretty damn hot if he did say so himself. 

“I like your shirt,” She said absentmindedly, fiddling with her chopsticks.

“Uh, thanks. It’s actually my roommates, because he knows how to dress and I don’t. Uh. Wait, that came out wrong,” He said, covering his mouth as the girl laughed.

“You’re funny. I’m sure you’re not that bad at dressing,” She said, and Iwaizumi exhaled, grinning.

“Yeah, I don’t really know what I was thinking. I do put effort in, I promise,” He said, putting a charming smile on.

“So far I only really know about your best friend. What about you?” She asked.

“Well, I’m 21, pretty athletic, and I cook sometimes too,” He said, remembering what Oikawa told him in his head. 

‘They need to know your age, something that’s marginally impressive, and something that makes you husband material. BUT DON’T LIE. They WILL find out.’

Iwaizumi was honestly surprised when he noticed her bat her eyelashes, and asked, “What about you? All I really know right now is that you’re stunning.”

The girl proceeded to tell him lots of things about herself, and he had to remember to nod every thirty seconds. He caught some information. Her name, her age, and like three of her hobbies, but the rest just came out jumbled in a mix of drama and trailing off the conversation. They had almost nothing in common, but Iwaizumi figured he could work with that.

“So what about you? What do you think about abortion?” Iwaizumi was startled out of his trance. That was also in Oikawa’s dating rulebook 101. ‘For the love of god, though. Don’t argue about politics on a date. If she brings it up, run. “It’s a woman’s choice. I fully support it.” She wrinkled her nose.

“That’s murder, though. I’ve read pamphlets.” Iwaizumi blinked. Um.

“I’m a biology major, studying to be a doctor. Going into it is pretty complicated, but a fetus isn’t alive.” He said blankly. “If it’s a moral obligation thing, fine, but I believe that people should have the choice.” She waved her hand around, and he saw her face flicker in annoyance before being replaced with a smile.

“Whatever, we don’t have to agree on everything,” She kept on talking, but Iwaizumi was no longer trying to take in all of her information. He had pretty much seen enough, and was about to excuse himself to the bathroom and blatantly walk out the door when in walked two men, arm in arm.

“Uh, gross. Can they do that somewhere else?” Her voice cut in, eyes scanning over the couple. Iwaizumi had no idea what she was referring to, but when she pointed to the couple, he squinted.

“They’re just holding hands,” Iwaizumi said, thoroughly confused.

“Yeah, but it bothers me, you know?”

“So don’t look."

“Excuse me?”

“Why does it even bother you in the first place,” Iwaizumi asked carefully, waving to the waiter for the check.

“It goes against everything in the bible! They are going to he-” She was cut off by Iwaizumi’s phone ringing. He smiled curtly at her before not even hesitating to pick it up.

“What’s up, Tooru?” As soon as he heard the sniffling on the other line, he rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what was coming. 

“Um, I know you’re on a date right now, but...me and Wakatoshi broke up again.” Iwaizumi pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Goddammit, Shittykawa, this is like the fifth time. What did I tell you was going to happen? I’m coming home.” The girl let out an offended gasp, and Iwaizumi grinned. 

“Hey, I’m really sorry, but I have a rather pressing issue.”

“What happened?” She asked, grinding her teeth. 

“Oh, my best friend is in need of some consolation, see he broke up with his boyfriend,” Iwaizumi said nonchalantly. The girl covered her mouth with her hand as he got up out of his seat. Snickering, he delivered the final blow. 

“Call you later?”

“Absolutely not!”


End file.
